i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
