I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He did a backflip because drugs
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