If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize