You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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