Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
