After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
foreskin is a definite game changer
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
