Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
