Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
