I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
