I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
