His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
