Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it glows. i had to have it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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