You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
