Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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