if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just tell him i said nine months
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
