I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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