she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
