he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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