Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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