I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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