Cold hands, warm shart.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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