I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
soo... how was my night?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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