i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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