What did we do last night that was yellow?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize