drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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