Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
