i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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