there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
