fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
