420 ftw
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
