I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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