I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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