he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
