he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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