I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
