She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize