Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
