I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
