I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Enjoy the penises
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
