O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
