It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
