i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
