I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
