I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize