come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
