I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I would fuck him just for his dog
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