Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
