I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
