Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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