Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
