Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
