So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im six kinds of drunk right now
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
