It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
