Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
