yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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