The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
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