check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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