Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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