I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I forget how to act sober
Randomize