Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
