So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
