oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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