They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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