i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
