Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
