so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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